Sorry to hear that your mother dies this year. Hope you can enjoy some part of the holidays though they may have mixed feelings for you. All we can do sometimes is keep on going. Easier said than done. We can not, when something like a close death happens in our family, get caught up in Extreme sadness. easier said than done. We can only take it a day at a time.
This is what I wrote to a classmate of mine. We have not seen each other in over 20 years but will probably meet again soon. We started talking again thanks to Facebook, one of a few good ways to become reacquainted with people from the past, thanks to modern technology.
Even now though, we can not stay in contact with everyone we knew from back when. I don't even know my sister's FB page to talk to here more often. Thanks to e-mail and now the social media sites, it is easier...blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. You also get that this was not possible 20 years ago. And, this is remarkable to me.
So, more pep rally talk, which is necessary sometimes and well intended.
The holidays are difficult and can be wonderful. We all deal with death and loss differently. No matter what the source; what happens in our Life that can be difficult for us to handle at times, we have to keep moving; physically and mentally. Our beliefs can sustain us; pray if you like, and remember, but we have to move about. Walk, work, interact, take care if yourself and the others in your life that may rely on you. We have to keep on keeping on. Just think of the alternative. There is a wide spectrum, from a brief cry now and then to suicide. The latter is not the solution to any problems we may have. But, I am not living with your pain. You are not living with my pain either; no matter if it is stale, dull, 20 years old , or happened yesterday and is sharp and getting sharper; suffocating me almost. Notice I used the word ALMOST.
Events like a death, financial distress, job loss, retirement, ETC...these are going to happen. May we not receive too much of this crap at once in our lives. But, we must, can and have to endure. To Live on this Earth, we have no other choice. There are short term and long term supports; groups. therapists, medications, a drink or 9 now and then. We have to maybe even destroy our Life, with out dying, in order to get through the loss we have endured. But any self abuse involving excessive amounts of drugs, gambling and/ or alcohol can be costly in a few ways. Moderation. I am not your parent. But , don't destroy your brain cells with illegal drugs.
More pep rally stuff. See, I believe that we can endure a lot. We make choices, we falter, stay in bed for a long time, eat too much, or not at all...but we get through our obstacles. Here is a big problem solver TIME. Not the magazine either. Time will keep on passing or ticking by. Time dulls the sharpness of our memories. Time decreases the intensity of feelings and allows us to feel and remember and have a semblance of a life, then a regular life.
We have to try and believe. Go to church or pray at home if this is your thing. What can it hurt to try? Let music help and let others around you help also. Maybe read a book; with stories long or short. See a play, go have a great meal or a sloppy hamburger. Do what you need to and, LIVE!
Be well. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a great Kwanzaa, and a health and happy 2012. Let's see if we get to see a 2-0-1-3. Probably. ; ) www.thelionshares.com
Clarification is a good skill to have when explaining an opinion or telling a story or when answering questions; ETC...Regarding my view of modernizing Christmas/Holiday songs, there are so many to mention that I do not care to be that specific. I would not vary the religious based songs, as they are powerful. There are songs like "White Christmas", "Feliz Navidad", and "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas". These songs again, wish the best and are timeless. "Happy Christmas (War is Over)", though about 35 years old, is a a somewhat modern song with a powerful message that will be poignant this year and for years to come. We could have more heart-touching songs filled with truth and sentiment and retire some about Frosty and Rudolph. We need inspiration, not fantasy. Leave fantasy to the children.
By the way, I am looking forward to the holiday season, Christmas, and like this preparation time. It is so nice to see the houses and towns that have decorated. Holidays do change somewhat when older family members, friends and neighbors die. We grow up and go through varied experiences in Life and are no longer children. But, it is important to retain tradition and optimism and happiness, just to not be as naive as when we were younger. Reality talking. Enjoy this time of the year, decorate, be nicer throughout the year, and try not to over eat; think smaller portions. That way, you can have it all ;) www.thelionshares.com
Christmas songs of today must reflect today. I like many older traditions, But, listen to what we are singing or hearing on the radio..."days/tales of yore...chestnuts on an open fire. sleigh rides, even Frosty and Santa...too much fake already...listen to a song Alan Jackson recorded sometime ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sseRlBDDVaU
go there and listen to that. Simply, we need more songs like that.
There must be more modern Christmas/Holiday songs out there. If not, artists should write them!! Why can't a song like Alan Jackson's Let It Be Christmas Everywhere become a traditional song children sing in school?
I will address the pros and cons of fantasy thinking about Santa ...another time...
Seriously though, listen to the lyrics of songs we have been singing for more than 70 years...more than 100 years maybe? "Blue Christmas" is truthful, sad but real. I'll Be Home for Christmas" has good sentiment, as many times in our lives we may not be home for the holidays, this is also applied to other family members...
Modernizing Christmas songs."Deck the Halls" "Dashing through the snow on a one horse open sleigh", maybe on skis or a sled/ snowboard...
Unfortunately, Life for Adults is more like "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer", Well, maybe not. but definitely, "The 12 Pains of Christmas" I could not find the original version in the YouTube universe, here is a version. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB08UdIpHR8&feature=related
There is room for touching modern songs to be written by Artists of today. The older songs have a nice sentiment but describe a world of yesteryear that no long exists: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..."Sleigh rides. These are Victorian Era concepts are out of place in the Technological 21st Century.
Cynical, yes, I am a bit, but, I am a realist. I also believe in the True Spirit of Christmas and the Holiday season (I am Catholic write your own blog if ya celebrate Kwanzaa or if you are Jewish.). Giving and being nice. We commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ. Hopefully your beliefs are not lost when exchanging presents, at parties or feeling bad that you did not get what you wanted for Christmas. We are human after all and are able to change. Just be nice through out the year and think of others when you are able. Enjoy this time of preparation for The Holidays. What do you think of what you just read? let me know...tell others. www. the lionshares.com
